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Offering vs earning

A few years ago I came out of a relationship and discovered that I was terrible at having feelings for people, or letting people have feelings for me, or doing any of that feeling stuff in general.

So, with the help of my poor boyfriend, I decided to work at it. I met people I liked and I made an effort to be open, to connect. I tried to let myself be vulnerable. I tried to communicate how I felt and build relationships.

And now I've discovered something else: people will not handle your feelings with care. People are astonishingly callous about other people's feelings.

And now I think, maybe the problem wasn't really me. Maybe it makes a lot more sense not to entrust oneself and one's vulnerability with people who will not be gentle with it and thoughtful of it. Maybe that doesn't make me distant or difficult-- maybe it means I value myself enough not to let other people have the best of me when they're not going to value it themselves.

Comments

( 1 comment — Leave a comment )
emortimer
Nov. 29th, 2015 10:49 pm (UTC)
Sometimes people hurt each other unintentionally.

Having said that, I think it's ok to pick and choose who you want to be open with.
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